Being told you’re “overreacting” can sting. Perhaps you raised a concern about your child, set a boundary in a relationship, or spoke up about something that didn’t feel right — only to be met with dismissal: “You’re too sensitive. You’re making a fuss over nothing.”
For many people, this kind of response plants seeds of doubt. Am I really too much? Am I unstable? Over time, those seeds can grow into silence, self-doubt, and a constant second-guessing of your own instincts.
But here’s the truth: sometimes what gets called an “overreaction” is, in fact, a protective instinct. And when someone repeatedly frames your vigilance as instability, this can be part of a pattern of gaslighting in relationships.
What “Overreaction” Really Means
In everyday life, “overreacting” is a label people reach for when:
A partner, parent, or co-parent raises a worry the other doesn’t want to face.
A boundary is challenged, and the pushback feels inconvenient.
Emotions are expressed in ways that don’t match the other person’s preferred level of calm.
In families, this dynamic can become particularly painful. Children may feel stuck when one parent validates their feelings while the other dismisses them as “drama” or “chaos.”
Gaslighting Through Minimisation
Gaslighting isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it shows up as a quiet, relentless minimisation:
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“You always overreact.”
Over time, these phrases chip away at trust in your own perception. Instead of addressing the concern, the focus shifts to your supposed “instability.”
Why Protective Instincts Matter
Protective instincts aren’t just about parenting — they show up in many relationships:
In co-parenting: One parent may notice subtle changes in a child’s behaviour, health, or mood and feel the need to act. Taking these instincts seriously can strengthen trust and create a safer environment for the child. Dismissing them as “overreacting” risks leaving real concerns unaddressed.
In partnerships: If a spouse voices discomfort about finances, fidelity, or wellbeing, it’s often a call for deeper communication. Brushing it off as “too sensitive” can erode trust and leave both partners feeling unheard.
In daily life: Friends, colleagues, and carers may also use protective instincts to flag potential risks. Respecting those instincts encourages accountability and helps prevent harm.
At their core, protective instincts are about care, responsibility, and connection. They deserve to be explored and respected — not minimised or turned into evidence of instability.
The Long-Term Impact of Dismissal
When concerns are consistently minimised, children and partners may:
Suppress their own instincts.
Struggle with trust in relationships.
Feel anxious or unsafe sharing problems.
Turn to harmful coping strategies instead of seeking support.
The cost of being labelled “too sensitive” is high — and it often falls hardest on the child caught in the middle.
Reclaiming Your Voice
If you’ve been told you’re overreacting, here are a few grounding truths:
- Strong feelings don’t make you unstable — they make you human.
- Protective instincts are a sign of care, not weakness.
- Therapy can help you separate what is your anxiety from what is someone else’s silencing tactic.
Being accused of “overreacting” doesn’t prove instability — it often reveals an attempt to control the narrative. Control dressed as calm can be as destabilising as chaos. Trusting your instincts, with the right support, is not only possible, but vital for your wellbeing and your relationships.
If you’ve been made to feel “too much” or “too sensitive,” therapy offers a safe, confidential space to untangle the truth. Book a free 15-minute consultation
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